When the mind does the seeing

So the surgery was horrific. Not so much the surgery itself but the local anaesthetic which was injected into my scar tissue. The surgeon said that because the skin graft tissue is like a keloid scar (tough and hypersensitive) he'd had to use a lot of pressure. He also said that the amount of pain I was in would have justified me being referred to have the operation under a general anaesthetic which is what I've always had.

I checked out the wound after the surgery and it looks a bit unpleasant, but nothing too horrible.
i have to do this every time they do something to me now as soon as I'm allowed to so that I know what to expect.

After my accident, because I didn't actually see the wounds for three months- dressings were changed under general anaesthetic- I didn't know what it would look like. I was very very young at the time, so I assumed that my crushed limb was going to look normal after the bone reconstruction, metal work and skin grafting. I thought at worst I might have a bit of a pirate scar. So when they took the dressings off to let me see it was a bit of a shock to say the least...

Now I always like to check what's been done to me after surgery.

Silly question but...

... if I take my antibiotic at a similar time to my probiotic vitamin, what happens? Anything? Does it become a mere biotic?

And can humble biotics exist without explicitly stating their allegiance anymore? They have to act as guerrillas to prevent themselves being massacred by the pro and anti crew... no wonder they're going all superbug. There's a war on....

Either way I've been skipping my vitamin pills while the antibiotics are in my system.

The To-Do List

Tomorrow is going to be a busy day, especially because I'll have to cram three days work into one because I'm having surgery on the Thursday and Friday and won't be able to go in. My list of things to do grows ever longer, and (inversely?) the total available time is ever decreasing, but at least it will take my mind off the operation in the meantime.

I was very excited when I got home today (call me a geek, many have before you) because my shiny new notebook had arrived. At least I will look and feel like the kiddy when I'm making my lists of tasks now. Wuthering Heights is my absolute favourite book.

The Arrangement

Because great music is all in The Arrangement

Unsent Response to a Facebook Friend Request

I didn't send this but am beginning to wish I had.

Sharron,

Thank you for your recent friend request on facebook, unfortunately I am going to have to decline your request at this present moment in time.

I would like to clarify this is not because of your profile picture which shows you drunkenly exposing your buttocks on the roof of a car while your baby is at home (with who? I seem to remember you making the fact that you did not know the father's identity public knowledge). Nor is it solely because of your political views, though I must admit that this was a contributing factor- I cannot in good conscience consider a member of the BNP a friend.

I feel it is important that you know this, as you have mentioned in your info that you do not like "stuck up girls who think they are better than you". While your lifestyle choices wouldn't work for me, I can accept they are your choices to make, for better or worse.

The main reason I have rejected your friend request is that I do not recall a point when our relationship constituted a friendship. I have declined your friend request three times now, and I am hoping that this fourth rejection will jog your memory.

Don't you remember the five years of secondary school you spent bullying me? Because I was academically able I was a swot? Because I had ambitions I was a stuck up bitch? Because I took an active role in school life and was a member of various clubs and thus was awarded opportunities because of my hard work I was, in your opinion, given preferential treatment.

Maybe the (daily) emotional attacks have slipped your mind. Maybe the pushing, pinching, tripping, slapping etc. have too. They haven't escaped mine. Don't get me wrong, I've moved on in my life. Nothing that you did or said managed to hold me back in the end, but I'm not going to accept you as a friend so that you can snoop at my life now and think everything is forgiven and forgotten.

You have never apologised, and actually it's not ok.

Decline.

Bathroom Gender Divide

A toilet humour free zone, I assure you.

I think myself and the boyfriend defy the normal gender stereotypes of men being wash and go and women taking forever to get ready.

I am very much wash and go. I don't wear make up unless I'm going out in the evening, I'm lucky to have good skin so don't need it to conceal anything. I just wash, moisturise, dry my hair and I'm away. I keep a brush in my handbag and a lip balm. I wouldn't be especially bothered if people saw me when I'd just woken up.

The boyfriend on the other hand is obsessed with getting his hair just right. To the extent that he reads reviews of hair products and buys them online. He will then couple this with hairspray- I never use this product he has bought it for himself.

He does tend to like to use my things though. He will use all my shampoo and conditioner (even though his hair is very short) and can often be found using my hair dryer. He doesn't use hair straighteners or fake tan or anything. He spends ages shaving every morning even though I can't even see what he is shaving off to begin with.

He has sworn me to secrecy on this but on occasions he has asked me to use make up to cover spots for nights out....lucky this blog is anonymous or he would not be happy with me.

And why am I complaining about this now? I was ready over an hour ago (even though he went in the shower before me) and I am still waiting for him to get ready so that we can go out....

Sound and Fury

One of the senior managers (you know, paid lots to sit in a room and come up with "new" policies which had always existed but were previously known under the alias common sense) gave an amazing assembly the other day. It was all about how there would be a zero tolerance of unruly behaviour and rudeness. That respect was the way forward. You would adhere to the rules for conduct or you could find another school.

The students were shocked and awed. I was a little bit in love. After all the times we've been let down before I actually believed that this person was there to change things.

Hmmm. Then today, a student "verbally assaulted" (school speak for hurled a vile torrent of abuse and threats) at me before being physically confrontational. What has been done about it? Nothing. The same senior manager will ask another member of staff about it later but didn't have time to listen to me.

This is the problem, the students will see through the bravado as soon as you fail to back it up. Sound and fury signifying NOTHING.