By Lamplight

In the hush before dawn I sit and type by the dim glow of an ancient lamp. The sounds of the day have been silenced, and the low hum of an electrical choir- fridge, fan and router takes their place. From the bedroom, I can hear my boyfriend reaching for me in his sleep. He murmurs, waking briefly to find me gone from the bed, but used to my late night wanderings returns to his sleep.Translucent spiders crawl eerily in the lamplight, moving as if in slow motion as they prowl the dusty floor boards.

The sky has already begun to soften from a midnight blue to a dilute ink; silhouettes of trees and church yard begin to free themselves from the night which consumes them.

A solitary bird throbs summons the chorus to wake and greet the first rays of the sun

Lottery Win Investment

On Saturday I won £10 on the lottery. I decided to use it to buy How to Write and Sell Short Stories by Della Galton, which I've heard great things about.

If I actually managed to write and sell a short story, then I would , in theory, make more than the cost of the book. However, we're still a long way off that point so I will consider my win a lottery investment in the arts.

It would be wrong to say every thing's going wrong here, but things are very confusing. I feel like I'm walking about in soup some days. The clumsiness continues, and I hit my head again yesterday. This time standing up into an open window.

Last night I had another panic attack. Hyperventilating. Boyfriend got very scared and upset. I thought my ribs were going to break. I'm still not feeling right, and my head hurts from crying. I'm going to see the doctor today. Not because I think they can solve the various concerns that I have in one appointment but I'm hoping maybe for some guidance.

Some reassurance that things are getting on top of me now, but will sort themselves out slowly.

Extreme Heat Affecting Writing

I like to look at the map of my site visits and see where all the different people are visiting from. There have been people in Malaysia, India, Egypt, Texas, LA, Florida... incredible. But I think visitors in these locations share an important trait I lack. They know how to handle heat. And will have little sympathy with me here!

We've just had a scorching weekend in the UK. By scorching, I'm not entirely sure of the top temperatures reached, but I had heard night temperatures of 17 Celsius and day temperatures of 27 banded around for where I live. This will be a joke to many, but I cannot cope with the heat.

I have strawberry blonde hair, incredibly pale skin and if I go outside without suncream on an average summer's day I burn. I have to wear factor 50 plus designed for small children. I tend to find a cool spot to lie in with a book, then flop away from the heat. I get headaches and cranky.

I've been trying to rewrite a short story I submitted to a magazine, using some of their feedback. I want to write a frame to develop the main character further, so that readers will sympathise with their actions more. I know exactly what I want to write too. It is just far too hot.

Life, Lemons and Seated Activities

So. I still can't walk properly after the surgery so I'm trying to be as productive as possible while not in school (that thing about life dealing lemons and making lemonade.... I love lemonade). I've graded loads of papers and gone through books and marked them. I have a set of class reports to write but I won't be able to do that until later as I need to log onto the school system remotely and I'm having trouble doing that so I need boyfriend to help out when he returns from work.

I took a break from teacher stuff at what would have been my lunchtime (to preserve my sanity) and made a cup of tea and bashed out 930 words (yes! in less than an hour!) for a small circulation women's magazine. I've submitted it today, but I probably won't hear anything for ages. I've submitted to them before and they took a while to reply.

I've taken some (procrastinating?) measures towards getting the house clutter free so that I will be able to spend more time writing freely. We got new bathroom shelving the other day so I've been sat on the bath sorting various items of clutter into who belongs to who piles on the shelves and that looks pretty neat. In addition to that I should have my new shoe rack and under bed storage boxes arrive tomorrow evening (never let it be said that my life isn't fantastically exciting) and I think that will be a great place to store bedding and towels etc that we just don't
So until BF returns from work to fix my computer (oh got a new external hard drive to keep my writing backed up on as well!) I'm trying to think about tasks I can complete while seated so as not to anger the offending limb before dressing changes. I think that sorting out my desk will be a good step- I will be able to writhave space for else where.e my reports there then. Look out for before and after pictures.


Before, it's a disgrace, I know. Though much of that is because boyfriend piled clothes on the chair which therein started a clothes mountain... you know the drill...

I'm not sure why that picture is upside down...
the file isn't. It's obviously trying to reflect
the higgledy piggledy nature of my desk...

After, much better. I've got a way to go... maybe find some way of fixing the hinges so my laptop isn't on a downward slope, but still. I'm pleased with my initial efforts. I have further makeover plans so watch this space or something.

Writing by Numbers

So after grading a huge pile of exam papers (sorted into legible and illegible handwriting for efficiency/procrastination purposes) I decided to take a break from school work and try some writing. I'm almost tempted to go back to school work.

It took me a good hour (give or take some online distraction) to bash out a passable 250 words. That is after about six deleted attempts of 100-200 words each which were just diabolical. So maybe it was productive in a way? Hmm.

Either way, it's not the greatest output. Call it 250 words an hour, and I'd have about an hour's grace each week day to write... and the least you're looking at for a novel(la) is 50,000 words... maybe I should leave my revisions until I've actually finished writing. The whole thing. In the hope I won't be able to bring myself to delete it and start again even if it is odious drivel.

Highs and Lows

I woke late this morning after going to see a 10pm showing of Iron Man 2 last night and I had a message on my answer machine.

When I called back it was the local allotment manager to offer me a place on their allotment list. These places are like gold dust and I applied in October. I was so excited but then I realised that with all the recent surgery I'm probably not going to be able to put in the physical work required, so I've had to ask him to put me back on the list with a note about why I can't accept.

I was so disappointed. But maybe one day I will have my own house with my own garden which I can take my time to develop and nurture. Is this displaced broodiness? Probably.

The dream would be to live in this quiet little village near us with these Victorian redbrick cottages which look out over the village green. I go through there on the bus and think it would be such a lovely place to live. However. I'm unlikely to ever be able to afford these. Lottery win please!

On a more positive note, I spent the other day bashing out a plot on index cards. There are still gaps (gaping holes?) in places and I have yet to do anything in terms of "proper" writing, but it is a start.

I've decided I need to sort out a defined writing space so that I don't get distracted by my other half (its mostly been football noise this weekend seeping into my brain) and I've already started operation declutter to help get my desk fit to use for writing. I've got storage being delivered from Lakeland and Argos next week which will hopefully create a more zen environment for me to write in.

I need to get some giant poster frames to get my Mucha prints put in to display. This will make me happier.

Procrastination: Thief of Time

I've procrastinated a lot this morning since I woke up nine with the intention of actually doing some "proper" writing today. I've always wanted to spend more time writing, the extent of the creative writing I do at the moment being completing the tasks I set the kids in school which always lead to me being asked what books I read and being told, "It's really good, but you have a messed up mind!" Thanks... I think.

I love reading other people's blogs and I'm always struck by the creativity I find there. I check daily for new Picklesworth poetry and I like stumbling across arts and crafts blogs. Recently however, I've come across loads of writers who are doing it for fun and I've felt inspired to get down to writing. Once I finish procrastinating.

So this morning I have danced around to Paramore, The Veronicas, Thirty Seconds From Mars and The Wombats while cleaning. I have taken my French beans outside and re-potted them (note to self, buy bamboo canes... these guys need height) and now... now I must do some planning for my writing.

Here's wishing me luck in my endeavours, and you in yours.