Lottery Win Investment

On Saturday I won £10 on the lottery. I decided to use it to buy How to Write and Sell Short Stories by Della Galton, which I've heard great things about.

If I actually managed to write and sell a short story, then I would , in theory, make more than the cost of the book. However, we're still a long way off that point so I will consider my win a lottery investment in the arts.

It would be wrong to say every thing's going wrong here, but things are very confusing. I feel like I'm walking about in soup some days. The clumsiness continues, and I hit my head again yesterday. This time standing up into an open window.

Last night I had another panic attack. Hyperventilating. Boyfriend got very scared and upset. I thought my ribs were going to break. I'm still not feeling right, and my head hurts from crying. I'm going to see the doctor today. Not because I think they can solve the various concerns that I have in one appointment but I'm hoping maybe for some guidance.

Some reassurance that things are getting on top of me now, but will sort themselves out slowly.

When the mind does the seeing

So the surgery was horrific. Not so much the surgery itself but the local anaesthetic which was injected into my scar tissue. The surgeon said that because the skin graft tissue is like a keloid scar (tough and hypersensitive) he'd had to use a lot of pressure. He also said that the amount of pain I was in would have justified me being referred to have the operation under a general anaesthetic which is what I've always had.

I checked out the wound after the surgery and it looks a bit unpleasant, but nothing too horrible.
i have to do this every time they do something to me now as soon as I'm allowed to so that I know what to expect.

After my accident, because I didn't actually see the wounds for three months- dressings were changed under general anaesthetic- I didn't know what it would look like. I was very very young at the time, so I assumed that my crushed limb was going to look normal after the bone reconstruction, metal work and skin grafting. I thought at worst I might have a bit of a pirate scar. So when they took the dressings off to let me see it was a bit of a shock to say the least...

Now I always like to check what's been done to me after surgery.

50 Things

I took this quiz from facebook. Its a getting to know you number, in case you want to get to know me. I will probably answer more honestly than I normally would, since I'm just anon now.

1. What time did you get up this morning? ~ I didn't. I'm on holiday, meant to hit snooze, missed and woke up in the afternoon.

2. How do you like your steak? ~ medium rare with a tasty sauce.

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? ~ Kick Ass

4. What is your favorite TV show? ~ True Blood, natural successor to Buffy.

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? ~ I don't know. I don't know what I want in life.

6. What did you have for breakfast? I skipped it cos I woke so late.

7. What is your favorite cuisine? Italian.

8. What foods do you dislike? ~ onion

9. Favorite Place to Eat? ~ Somewhere informal but quirky.

10. Favorite dressing? ~ oil and vinegar

11.What kind of vehicle do you drive? ~ an uncool one

12. What are your favorite clothes? ~ casual jeans, a pretty top...

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance? ~The world, the outer reaches of the universe, the past, the present... the landscapes of my dreams.

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? ~ Just half

15. Where would you want to retire? ~ Childhood.

16. Favourite time of day? ~ Evening

17. Where were you born? ~ A hospital in a small town.

18. What is your favorite sport to watch? ~ Dance

19. Who do you think will not tag you back? ~ Not relevant

20. Person you expect to tag you back first? ~ Not relevant

21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this? ~ N/R

22. Bird watcher? ~ Sometimes...

23. Are you a day person or a night person? ~ Night

24. Pets? ~ Are wonderful but a big responsibility. They tie you down.

25. Any new and exciting news that you'd like to share? ~ No, its all old and terrifying.

26. What did you want to be when you were little? ~ Judy Garland

27. What is your best childhood memory? ~ Summer days as a teenager with my friends... memory is selective. The highlights blur like a slideshow.

28. Are you a cat or dog person? ~ Dog.

29. Are you married? ~ No. I don't know if I will.

30. Always wear your seat belt? ~ Yes, I'm not an idiot with a deathwish.

31. Been in a car accident? ~ two, one very bad.

32. Any pet peeves? ~ Many.

33. Favorite pizza topping? ~ Farmhouse

34. Favorite Flower? ~ cherry blossom today

35. Favorite ice cream? ~ mini milk lollipops

36. Favorite fast food restaurant? ~Pizza Express

37. How many times did you fail your driver's test? ~ two

38. From whom did you get your last email? ~ A catalogue confirming my order

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? ~ I wouldn't max out my card.

40. Do anything spontaneous lately? ~ No. I should. But you can't plan spontaneous acts...

41. Like your job? ~ Yeah... for now.

42. Broccoli? ~ Tasty

43. What was your favorite vacation? ~ Italy

44. Last person you went out to dinner with? ~ Uni friends

45. What are you listening to right now? ~ breathing

46. What is your favorite color? ~ white... a blurry spectrum.

47. How many tattoos do you have? ~ none, I don't like them very much but I'm almost considering getting one. Delayed teen rebellion.

48. How many are you tagging for this quiz? No one

49. Winter, autumn, summer or spring? Summer

50. Coffee Drinker? ~ No.